i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
