I think I died a long time ago.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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