She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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