So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
