butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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