Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
