New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
