: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
