I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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