Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
