what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I need to sanitize my soul.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
