So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
