all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
