also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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