Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
