..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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