I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
