I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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