No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
