Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
