you traded sex for a burrito?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
