All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
