Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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