Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
