You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
