I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
