Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I AM VODKA MAN
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
