After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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