why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
