Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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