My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
wow bdsm is so cute
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
