i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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