Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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