I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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