it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
