You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
