so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
