My Higher Power is John Stamos
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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