I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wish you could order shots online.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
