Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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