i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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