if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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