I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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