ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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