Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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