Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
