That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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