Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I understand Curling. That high.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
