I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
