she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
