I wish I only lived at night.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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