Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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