U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
